Thursday, August 16, 2007

Moving Forward

Well, things have been pretty mellow since my last post. Work itself has been really insane this week with down servers and main systems! I did manage to purchase a paddle for my new activity! There has been no surf, so no traditional surfing at the moment.

I just need to trim it to the right size, epoxy the handle on, and I am good to go! I also am buying a board tomorrow. It's an 11' Mickey Munoz Ultra Glide... not something I would seek to purchase, but I am getting a good deal on it, and I can standup paddle, as well as surf it on small days! The colors are obscene, but it's functional.

The girl situation is that there really isn't one at this point in time. I've let things be and I will continue to do. Both parties need to be involved in a relationship of any kind, and until that happens, I am hands off.

I did get the pleasure of speaking to Miz B on the phone yesterday evening! I can not wait to travel up to the city and meet up with her and meet her fabulous family! Surely it will be something she will capture on video and display for all our blogging friends!

Thank you all for being so supportive during the emotional stress I've been experiencing. I was telling Miz B how fortunate I am to have wonderful friends who have absolutely been there for me!

Monday, August 06, 2007

The Situation

I've been back from my vacation now for about two weeks. It's been an extremely exhausting homecoming. The emotional roller coaster I've been on has just worn me out, but I have been able to do activities that have been making things a bit easier.

A little background on the situation: I starting seeing a girl at the end of June. She had just gotten out of a 5 year long relationship (a month previous) with a woman who had basically kicked her, and her 10 year old daughter out of their home. So they, the girl I was seeing and her daughter, moved into her sisters house, to which they were, at the time moving out of at the end of July. Basically, I started dating someone fresh out of a long, committed relationship, with a 10 year old, who has no where to live. Yes, definitely a recipe for disaster. It started off great, good communication... where we were and wanting to get to know one another... taking things slow. We'd talk on the daily basis and speak candidly, honestly, and openly about many things, especially about our relationship.

The day before the 4th of July, her ex went a little ballistic, making threats and causing a ton of drama. Right after, I get a phone call from my girl saying all we could be right now is friends and that she didn't want to get into a relationship, which was fine, although we had already started doing girlfriend type things like kissing, holding hands, and sleeping together in the same bed (no sex at this point). I understood, but she was teetering saying "Friends, hug and kiss each other on the cheek, right?" and I told her I was just going to let the relationship flow whatever direction it naturally went. Well, the 4th came and I ended up kissing her under a sky full of fireworks going off and ended up sleeping over her place. We were pretty inseparable for the next few days and finally were intimate for my weekend stay at her place. I had such a wonderful time with her in the past weeks and we were having a lot of fun together.

That Monday she ran into the ex at the coffee shop she frequents and told her that she was seeing someone (meaning me of course). Everything was fine, until a couple days later she was refusing to hug or kiss me just outside of our work place, saying that everyone was teasing her each time I called. She refuse my affections because she didn't want them to have anything to talk about. I was pretty irritated. Later that evening I got the "we can only be friends" talk again. She said she was having trouble focusing on what she had to do (spend time with her daughter, find a place to live, or find a job in Orange County, so she could move there with her aunt). So, no more kissing and no more sex, because it was all clouding her judgement. Not sure if she was feeling like she being locked into another relationship so quickly.

Well, she was running out of time, and I was going on vacation to Kauai. We were still talking daily for the most part, and she offered to take me to the airport. We ended up kissing as she was dropping me off. When I was on vacation we didn't really talk a whole lot. Some days I didn't hear from her at all, some days we'd talk for awhile. Her parents were in town and she was helping her sister move out of their house, so I figured she was just busy. She had offered to pick me up from the airport when I returned home, which she did.

Since I have been back, it's been pretty down hill. She's called me a few times, but we haven't really spoken since (I mean have a meaning conversation - just very basic stuff). We don't speak at all outside of work. I was pretty frustrated one day and cornered her. I wanted to know what was going on and she basically said she was just "busy" and that she's going through a hard time. She still needed a place and she was still moving into a friend's house temporarily. She said she needs to spend time with her kid, and doesn't really have time for herself, much less anyone else. What can I say to that? What can I do but just step out of the picture? Which is what I did.

I wrote her letter, telling her where I stand and that'll be around. I haven't called her or txt'd messaged her in about a week. She called me at work to tell me a friend of mine dropped off something for me and we talked for a little bit yesterday after she got off of work. However, I ran into her today... she was with a coworker of ours and she was short and in hurry and rushed. It's so day to day with her, and it's just been tiring emotionally.

So, that's my tale of what's been going on in my life for the last month and an a half. I have no idea what's going to happen. She still, at this point in time hasn't got a place and the possibility of her moving to Orange County is still there. I guess i have to let it be and go on with things I want to pursue.

Good thing I just discovered the fun of Standup Paddleboarding! It's been the one thing keeping my mind off my current situation with this girl. SPB is a great core workout and is just plain fun on a flat day when there is no surf! I've been obsessed with obtaining all the equipment for doing this (basically an 8' paddle and floaty board). Luckily my friends have been kind enough to share theirs!

I'm really into this and I can't wait to have my own stuff! It's so great to have something new