Friday, May 18, 2007

Spring Memories

Miz B requested an update and I have one. I just got home from Saratoga. Darlene's memorial service was today. I went with my friend Kelly, whom I've know for almost 12 years and she too went on the Study Abroad Paris trip back in 1996. Kel and I have kept in touch over the years... I, in fact, taught her to surf a couple years ago. Anyway, this has been the one of my toughest losses. I'm sure aside from immediate family, its just as hard, if not harder to lose a really close friend. I wonder if it's because you chose for this person to be in your life. Cousins, uncles, aunts, you are bound by blood. Real, true friendship is bound by love.

Kelly and I were walking towards the congregation of people at the service and she asked if I believed in heaven, at least not in a biblical sense. Looking back at the moment, I might have answered her too quickly. I told her I didn't, but didn't have time to really explain. I told her I believed that we either returned to live another life, or that we recycled back into energy... that I found comfort in being a part of everything and never really dying. If there is a heaven... to me, it would be a beautiful point break, warm, glassy, waist high... my friends and I surfing it. My other friends and family on the beach having a great time. Or would it be me, forever 21 in Paris with my friends? See... too many scenarios that would be ideal.

When I got home, the Princess Cruiser fell from her sitting place. She happened to land on a metal stake and was stuck to it. I had to yank her out and felt like I was pulling a stake out of a heart. I'm so bummed that she is injured... I'm going to have to take her in to get repaired...so bummed.

The surf has been flat these last couple weeks and we are all getting stir crazy. Ankle Slappers galore! Hopefully when I write again, I won't be in such a somber mood.

6 comments:

bee said...

i'm sorry for your loss. funerals are the most difficult things to attend. hope you're doing well.

cooper said...

I am sorry for your loss. The thoughts that come with such happenings are always necessary though.


In an ideal world.......



Miss ya always...
jealous of your idyllic setting always..;)

Leigh said...

Bee - Thanks Bee... things are going along fine :)

Coop - Perhaps you should think about moving to Cali, thus solving the issue of missing me and be jealous of my setting ;)

shayna said...

I hate to hear of your loss.

Take care of yourself!

Miz BoheMia said...

I am so sad this had to happen my sweet friend. I get lost in introspection too during such times, I think it is a part of the healing process, but damn is it all a bitch and then some!

I agree with you. I don't believe in the traditional heaven-hell scenario... I don't believe in the traditional god concept... I do believe in the univer and in energy and in karma and that we are the creators of our destiny and the manufaturers of our own personal heaven or hell... and no matter what, from what you have said so far, I am sure that wherever she is, your friend is fabulously fine. It is those of us that are left behind that have to face the pain and the sorrow.

And I am sorry that this had to happen.

And I have SO been thinking of you lately... a very close friend of mine (also met in the blogosphere) sent me a fabulous book you would love... detailing the Laws of Attraction (sorry Coop... know you don't believe but it is my thing) and it made me think of you and how you mentioned it once and how I didn't get it but now I do...

So it makes sense your board was injured... the vibes and frequencies were low but you will pull out of the funk and be flying high yet again FO SHO amiga mia! Until then, keep on keeping on and know that somewhere in Spain, is a nutjob who is thinking of you and sending you all the positive and happy vibes she can muster!

Mil besos and take care of you!

Leigh said...

Shayna - Will do my dear...

Miz B - This event was very powerful to me... sometimes you don't realize how people affect your life until their death. I can almost says it's changed me in some way that I can not explain.

I thank you and everyone else who commented for your kind thoughts and support.