Friday, January 13, 2006

The Drama Clause

So lately I’ve been thinking about the concept of “drama” (due to recent events in my life). I figure in today’s terms it is defined as a situation that has been blown out of proportion along with the parties involved getting emotionally distressed over it. But how deep or surface does that really go?

I’ve noticed that a lot of people just pass off something they don’t want to deal with as “drama”. Yes, I do agree, there are the cases where people cause a scene or take their issues to a public level. That is what I consider real drama. See Shayna’s post about her band member…that’s a model case. But what about issues between two people on a private level? For example: Last week I confronted a friend, through email, about her recent behavior toward our relationship. She was basically acting strange, silent, and distant. I simply wanted to know what was going on - although, me being me, I may have dressed it up in words a little bit. Nevertheless, she referred to the email as “negative” and “drama”. We were able to work things out though.

Now, was I being dramatic in trying to sort things out between us by hitting the issue head on, in a direct manner? Or was she just afraid to face the real issues and project her feelings onto me? I see this in the work place as well. Many managers I see will avoid confronting their employees because they don’t want to cause “drama” in the work place. Resentment builds up between coworkers and that’s when the real situations take place. I think avoiding things causes a snowball of tension and resentment. I see it all the time.

Plain and simple, my new definition is this: drama is the failure of effective communication between two or more people.

15 comments:

Miz BoheMia said...

*applauding bohemian on the premises*

I couldn't agree with you more! Though I have a countdown on my blog and write only the negative, believe it or not, my in-laws are not bad people... just annoying at times. The only reason we have had problems in the past has been just that, a lack of effective communication.

My style is absolutely blunt and straight to the point. I don't like bullshit and I don't know how to be fake. The Iranian culture avoids straight communication and is filled with games and taking the long way around an issue, avoidance and sweeping things under the rug are best...hmmmm...

So this time my deal with my husband was this... don't let them come to you with problems they may have with me... I don't like he-said, she-said crap and if a problem arises they are to talk to me directly. They get on my nerves, yes, but things are sooooo much better than ever before and it is all due to direct communication and no game playing...

And so with regards to that girl who implied your attempt at communicating was drama, I would say that she is simply scared. Those who cannot talk about something have fear as their driving force and that is just sad.

Hopin' you know your way is the way to go!

And hey... "one" of your favorite chicas?!?!? Was I not "the" favorite one?!?!?

When you get a girlfriend, only SHE can be a notch higher, otherwise... uh-uh! You got a bohemian in your life and I am numero uno!!!!

He, he, heee! Am I gonna make you work it!

weirsdo said...

It seems to me your friend was staging a little passive aggressive drama of her own and didn't want you working on the script.

Leigh said...

Miz B - I'm the same way... to the point and frank. I hate the "let's pretend nothing's wrong" act. My parents and I would have an arguementment and they would pretend nothing happened within a few hours. Drives me nuts! The problems just build. I'm glad you had the talk with hubby about the inlaws. I think it just pisses ppl off more when the msg's are getting relayed back and forth. My friend, is the one whom I had confessed my feelings to, about a month ago. I am sure she was having a hard time knowing how to handle the situation. Everything is back to the way it was before. Hey, you are my favorite boho chica! Don't you forget it! ;)

Weirsdo - Well put! Perhaps you are right... although is avoiding a situation considered passive aggressive? It's a pretty delibrate action and not a very nice one at that. Hmmm...

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

I find that when men confront it's life , when women confront it's drama. In a genre where often the passive agressive is the norm I find this annoying. I prefer the 'say it like it is" and "ask to gt answers" way.

I always found that females such as myself for instance who tend to shy away from what is known as gossip and tend to lean towards " the real questions" as well as females who tend to say it like it is with no posturing are always accused of being something...


You're commenters..are crazy...get them under contril will you please.

Miz BoheMia said...

Who you callin' crazy WOMAN!

Yeah! Bohemians looovee feeling tough! This one even did a gansta strut!

Check it out!

Leigh said...

Alice -Hmmm...I never thought of it that way. Perhaps it's because I am always surrounded by women.

This is definitely an estrogen filled blog...one day you ladies are high maintenance lesbians, now gansta struttin' chicas! At least I can't ever say it's boring!
hehehe

Luv you gals!

The ZenFo Pro said...

Leigh, lol, I don't really know to much about estrogen but this is a very genderless issue- drama, well, sucks for everybdy ;)

I guess I've gotten to the point lately, due to a few recent events in my life - personal and work-related. I have a few coworkers that never seem to simply say what they mean, who turn everything into a soap opera rather than just deal with whatever's bothering them.

Last summer, there was a rumor running around that because I was single male helping a female student worker through some school/personal stuff ( a high school summer worker who wanted to apply to college; her parents wanted her to drop out like they did), someone decided that I was obviously something sexual going on. I'm usually completely obvlivious to rumors, but when I found out, I tracked down the persons responsible, pulled rank on them, and case closed.

Most of the time I'm diplomatic at work, but I have no problem closing an office door and having it out, either.

That is one hell of a definition.

Miz BoheMia said...

High maintenance lesbians... oooooh! I feel hot! Sizzlin'!

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

too much maintanance going one here for Leigh I think she took a vcation.

Leigh said...

Jason - Yup...you got a point there. People will always find some way to cause some sort of disturbance if it gets too boring.

Miz B - Down Girl

Alice - Yeah, just a breather, I can handle you ladies :P

shayna said...

Drama, Drama, Drama... the world is field with DRAMA! I love your definition! ;)

shayna said...

Sorry... I am tired I meant "filled"... :) But I guess we could send all the Drama people out to a field and let them get their drama on with each other... hell, does that even make since?

Leigh said...

Shayna - Is that like "getting your freak on?" hehehe

Sar said...

See, drama would have been you beating around the bush and making a big ongoing play for sympathy towards your friend. Coming right out and dealing with your concerns to the extend it protects and sustains your friendship is certainly not drama. It's admirable.

Leigh said...

Sar -Thank you... I agree 100% :)